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oh, just drop the other shoe

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Monday, September 20th, 2004
1:44 pm
so, i have a new journal because this shit got boring. i plan on adding folks soonish, just so i don't have to log into this name to check my friend's page.

fuck, i am so lame.

whatev. expect the newness.

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Thursday, September 9th, 2004
10:08 pm
yeah so. bye now.

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9:22 pm
well, what the fuck ever.
i love how i get depressed for no reason whatsoever.
kill me, k?

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7:24 pm
awww.

skwiddswimsaway: hey

Auto response from skunkiddo: here, but not here here.
you know the drill.

skwiddswimsaway: i love you
skwiddswimsaway: bye bye
skwiddswimsaway signed off at 6:51:49 PM.

this one's for you, kid.Collapse )

because you keep the egg in me alive.

PS.
TheCAMERAgrrl: hey

Auto response from skunkiddo: here, but not here here.
you know the drill.

TheCAMERAgrrl: i love you too
TheCAMERAgrrl: bye bye

teehee.

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Tuesday, September 7th, 2004
6:49 pm
feel free to ignore my gratuitous camwhoring.Collapse )

it's just something i do on the rare days that i don't feel completely shitty about myself. how about a mini celebration for that, eh?

oh, and i'm already tired of school. i think i'd just like to spend my days arranging cuddle parties or something equally as frivolous and squoooshy.

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Sunday, September 5th, 2004
4:51 pm
i am now in possession of a wireless mouse. it's sex cubed. next stop: wireless internet. i guess i'm gettin with the times.

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1:40 pm
i think things need to change. i've forgotten so much about myself.

which means - please die, you hipster fuckrats.

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Saturday, September 4th, 2004
8:00 pm
ok, why do i love livejournal so?

because it allows me to stumble upon skeezy folks i used to go to school with. fine, shit, and maybe used to hang out with. (fuck off. it was twice. three times tops, bitch.) whatever. it's choice entertainment. classy. like a hep b hooker with costume pearls around her neck.

and elsewhere in my halfway excuse for a life: i was invited out by an irishman, but i declined because i was afraid he'd offer me a pint. then i'd have to "just say no" and feel ultra unhip. the end.

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Friday, September 3rd, 2004
8:59 am
i think garden state tonight.
yes, i think that would be nice.

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Thursday, September 2nd, 2004
10:10 pm
i'd like to lose twenty pounds in the next sixty days, so i should probably stop popping these jolly ranchers, eh?

p.s. there's queer rollerskating nights in redwood city. i need a fag to hag and some disco booty shorts.

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Sunday, August 29th, 2004
4:15 pm
i think it's incredibly strange how people and places can drift in and out of your life just like that. there and gone and end of story. this summer has changed me so much, but i will never be able to pinpoint why. i have to chalk it up to these random configurations of stars and sky, fate, paths crossing. i try to create formulas because i want easy answers but i have a hunch that there aren't any answers at all, let alone simple ones. so i am plainly here, being, just like you and maybe you will change me in some way, if we ever meet, if we ever speak, if we ever imagine the possibility of one another, but will i ever know your history? and if i don't, will i ever know, truly, what or who it was that changed some little tucked-way piece of me? if i don't know you, then, i can't ever know myself wholly. we are all the time stealing eachother, hording identities and experiences without realizing the way in which we have changed space and time and the mapping of human history just by plainly being.

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10:01 am
i'm all a-jumble this morning. i'm pissed because of circumstances that have been spun to seem like they're beyond control when that is entirely untrue. and i'm anxious because it's my last day here and i hate goodbyes. and i feel stupid and self-conscious because meeting new people always makes me feel stupid and self-conscious and like i should really just hibernate for life and save myself the embarassment of, well, being me.

i feel like going home and crying a little/writing a lot, or collaging, or reading an amazing book that will make me feel like the universe is alright and maybe, just maybe still worth it.

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Thursday, August 26th, 2004
8:58 pm
i feel compelled to write about my first day of classes but, really, there's nothing to tell. looks like an even split - interesting, pertinent classes v. total shit high school busy work. meh. it's weird, though, because i don't feel like a student anymore. i mean, i'm working almost twice as many hours per week as i am going to school, and i'm really just focused on that. on being productive at work (shit, they gave me a title - office manager - i've gotta do right by them now) and things like paying rent and making household adjustments, and so on, etc etc. there's no real end or point to this pseudo-ramble, but it's odd, that's all, a lot like the rest of my life right now: unfamiliar.

anyway, i forgot to take pictures (yes, gasp), but i looked craaaaazy today. bright orange shirt, miniskirt, fishnets, my oversized cabbie hat, hightops. i seem to always make it a point to deck myself on the first day back, just for the hell of it. you know, the possibility of reinventing myself, which i covet so. but it was fun and put me in the mood to play with my wardrobe again. can we say makeover? oh, oh yeah.

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Wednesday, August 25th, 2004
7:54 am
hmm, what is new, what is new?

not much at all, actually. chilled with ed for a couple hours on monday and remembered/missed the olden days, but i won't go into that shit yet again.

i'm thinking about dropping 7k (hah, k) on a car, which makes me feel far too adult for my own good.

school starts tomorrow. enough said there.

and i really want a vacation or a weekend getaway or just a freaking day trip. my whole summer has been work/moving/work/decorating/work/work/work. and still, yes, i'm going to be working for the next ten days straight because my last weekend at the villas is coming up.

boo. i'm determined to make a trip down to long beach whenever i get my new car and i'm determined to go to knott's berry farm while i'm down there and i'm determined to take at least one old friend and i'm determined to celebrate the abrupt end of my adolescence in style.

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Monday, August 23rd, 2004
2:10 pm
interesting new development: apparently the 16 year old kid who was driving my car at the time of its demise was, yes folks, drunk.

if all this wasn't happening to me, it would be so hysterical.

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6:54 am
are you slurrious? is it only 6:54?

yep, that's right. i'm all dressed and ready to head out the door an entire hour before i actually need to.

fucking mondays.

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Sunday, August 22nd, 2004
3:06 pm
school starts in three days and already my neuroses are rearing up.
i feel like i'm suffocating,
i'm strangling myself, really.
that's very, very overdramatic
but i need to get out of this bubble.
i feel like i just need to go.
hop a plane to new orleans
or detroit or boston or vancouver.
kiss everyone i meet on both cheeks,
share secrets, make secrets.
i want you (the all-encompassing you)
to know me (just me).
build something that's ours
and tell stories later.

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Saturday, August 21st, 2004
4:57 pm
uuuuugggh.

ok.

who wants to get me good and drunk?

(going crazy, alone, in my apartment.)

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8:15 am
um, yeah. so apparently my car was totalled last night. from what i've gathered, it stalled, was rear ended, caught on fire--the whole shebang. fantastic, right?

at least no one was hurt.

but i really should have known that things were going far too well in my life to continue on that way. (and we better as hell be calling this shit even.)

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Friday, August 20th, 2004
11:41 am
i just made a powerpoint for one of my bosses. i so feel like i'm back at tech.

anyhow, i don't know if i should head up to vallejo tonight. for one, i'm feeling pretty nauseous. for the other, i'd have nowhere to stay the night because, well, i'm never going back to my parent's home (evereverever) and ashley is working until 1:30 in the morning or some ungodly thing like that and so won't want to go to sonoma afterward. but i do really want to see my squiddy boy!

eh. but still. i don't know if i can handle trying to be sociable tonight. i might just turn into my bitchy self and even further alienate myself from the realm of normal peer contact. hmmmm.

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